Tiny passed away today. I had been dreading the end when I had to make a decision to euthanize her. I know that no matter how I hated making that decision, it is the final responsibility of every pet owner. But in the end it was she who spared me the agony of making that decision. 
I came home this afternoon armed with some dripsets and 18gauge needles that I had bought from the retail pharmacy at Singapore General Hospital and I had another 7 bags of Hartman's solution (Ringer's lactate) Dr Ly the vet had said I needed to give her 200 ml each night. Tiny was at her usual place in the study on top of my pile of blankets but she had taken a turn for the worst.
I bundled her in to the cat carrier meaning to take her to the vet. This is the time... Peter, my friend from Perth had said.."You will know when the time comes" And I thought to myself, "This is the time"
What I did not realize was that Tiny was exhibiting agonal breathing, the pattern of respiration which indicates that she was about to expire. She even tried to push her way out of the cat carrier
I had set the carrrier down next to the front door and was about to lock it when I saw her slump aside, mouth open and cease all movements. Even as I drove towards the vet's office, I knew that Tiny was at last at peace. No more suffering.
Tiny has always been so forgiving, welcoming warm & patient , even though I wasn't always nice. 
Rest well, my dearest
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