Tiny's Grand Exit - Part 01

It's been several days since I found out what actually is not right with Tiny. Thoraxic scan uncovered a lung mass and she's in her final days. And its day 3 since her self-imposed fast. Tiny has rejected all food and water. Her lean frame is now frail.

The vet had taught me how to administer Ringer's lactate (Hartman's Solution) subcutaneously. "It's really easy" He said "Just lift up a fold of skin, insert an 18-G canula horizontally and put in about 200 mls. It'd slowly get absorbed over 24 hours"

I've been reading a lot of articles on dying cats, coming to terms, coping with bereavement etc. And as much as I thank God for the time I now still have to spend with Tiny, a very small part of me does not want this to be prolonged. How long can she last not eating, even though she has fluids?

Even as I blog, Tiny's on the carpet behind me, not far away. She's always not far away if I allow her to be. Yes, that's Tiny for you.. an unusual cat who'd follow me from the study to the bedroom to the kitchen. It's as though she has an invisible tether. And I know Tiny will alway be not far away, even if she goes.

I dread the day when I be saddled with the question... to keep her alive with daily Hartman's infusion or to gently put her down. Deep inside, I hope that I'd get up one morning and find her in peaceful lifeless sleep, that I would never have to make that painful decision. Yet in many places I see it mentioned, that it's every pet owner's final responsibility.. to ensure a humane exit.